Staccato Action
Last week, I tried a self-isolation writing retreat at home. It went well for one day. The second day wasn’t too bad, but by day three all the distractions took over. Experiment fail. Or…lesson learned really. Turns out, my family has about 1.5 days of patience. If I want to do a deep work writing retreat, I’m going to have to go somewhere else. I’m in constant awe of writers who are parents—my family consists of my husband and my dog (who is a toddler in dog form who comes into my office demanding things). The parents out there….you guys astound me.
As for writing, I feel good about what I’ve got going on. There’s a lot more work to do but my gut is telling me I’m on the right track.
I did something scary this week. I submitted this story to the Claymore Awards at Killer Nashville. I’m not expecting anything, but it’s the first time I’ve entered a contest of any kind with my writing. It was nerve wracking to hit the submit button—all the self-doubt came crashing in. But I did it anyway and I’m proud I did it. Another step forward!
Craft Musings
I recently read two fantastic books—THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS by Thomas Harris and UNSUB by Meg Gardiner—and I’m so glad I read them back-to-back. Both of these authors have phenomenal action scenes during the climax, written using largely the same technique. Staccato Action.
A few years ago, I took a MasterClass at ThrillerFest with Clare Mackintosh and one of the lessons that stuck with me was musicality in prose. You want some sentences short. Some long. And when you add them all together into a paragraph, there’s a certain musicality that accompanies the lines. Like this paragraph.
So when I read these books, I was struck by the succinct, pointed sentences. Nothing extra is included.
This is an example in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS:
She didn’t like the stairs, didn’t like the stairs, Clarice Starling in the quick where you give it or you don’t.
Catherine Martin screamed again, he’s killing her and Starling went down them anyway, one hand on the bannister, gun arm out the gun just under line of vision, floor below bounding over the gunsight, gun arm swinging with her head as she tried to cover the two facing doors open at the bottom of the staircase.
The reader knows exactly what’s going on, is inside the protagonist’s head, and there is increased urgency during these scenes. The staccato action is like a drum.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
These are two examples from UNSUB
Her vision was broken, screaming white-black, pulsing with shadows and lights like strobes. Her face fell again to the concrete, dragging. A noise in her ears, ringing like a fir alarm, deep in her head, and she couldn’t seem to life her free arm. Too heavy, numb, fingers wouldn’t close.
and
He shoved her against the wall. A corner, concrete, the smell of wood. The heavy cabinet. Hand grasped firmly and raised over head.
Similar but slightly different. But the same idea here—short to the point, in the moment action. Fewer filler words drive the reader into the moment. The heart of it. We don’t need to know how the protagonist is feeling (her heart pounds, adrenaline rushes through her veins) in these moments, because the reader feels the same thing.
I also noticed that in both, the action is done in longer sentences with short quick pauses through a comma. You could probably do the same thing with a period but something about the comma adds an extra sense of urgency…everything is happening right now. No time to pause and think.
I am going to try this technique for a few actions scenes I have ahead of me in my WIP. Let me know if you try it too.
Reading Lately
Over the last few days, I haven’t read all that much to be honest. But, I did read UNSUB as mentioned above. A gripping story of a serial killer, a family legacy, and (SPOILER ALERT) the origin story of how one detective makes her way into the FBI Behavior Analysis Unit. I’m excited to dive into more of them.
Last night I went to The Poisoned Pen for a book event featuring Art Bell and Josh Moehling. It was criminally under attended, but still a great time. They were there talking about their latest books:
Leslie, who Henry hasn’t heard from since their divorce, bursts into his office and announces that if he doesn’t hand over a quarter-million dollars, they’ll both be killed. Henry dismisses her story as a stupid attempt to steal his money and—despite his still-smoldering desire for her—tells her to get lost. But when he comes home to find his apartment ransacked, he begins to think this time Leslie may be telling the truth. And now that he desperately needs to find her, she’s disappeared again.
It's time to put the past to rest…
Ben Packard was just a boy when his older brother disappeared. Ben watched him walk out the back door of their grandparents' house and into the cold night.
His brother was never seen again.
Decades later, Deputy Packard finds himself with too much time on his hands. A shooting has him on leave and under investigation, and all he can do is dwell on the past. For the first time in years, new information about his brother has surfaced that may lead them to the location of a body.
This afternoon I have a medical procedure…should be routine but since the last time I did this I crashed on the table, I’m a bit nervous. So if I don’t make it…
Keep writing, keep thrilling, and don’t give up. Your art is a gift to the world.